yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
