Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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