Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
