There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
