Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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