summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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