is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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