Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
