maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
