u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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