PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
