Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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