Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
