Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
