STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Still dying that you shit outside
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
