somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And then he peed in my hair
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