So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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