guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
