they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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