you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
