love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
