she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
