I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
