I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
