I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
