I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
