you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
