How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
