some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
