if only i could text you this smell
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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