So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
