Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
