I need help removing her.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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