Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
