she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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