I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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