There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
