Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
