Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
