i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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