ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
