My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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