we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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