Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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