So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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