that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
