didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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