It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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