i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize