my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize