no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am naked and annoyed.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
