dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
