and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
