He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
