So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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