I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
