so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize