Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
