It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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