I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
