then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
