I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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