he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
