He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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