I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize