Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
