I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
