i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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