Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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